Movie review: (horror) “Pandorum” (2009)

December 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm (horror, movies)

  I have to say, John Shirley is absolutely right about the twitchy, obvious direction in this movie. It’s pretty irritating. Still more irritating is the clunky dialog, complete with “As you know, Bob” lumps of exposition.

The monsters are extremely derivative, especially of the creatures in the far superior “The Descent.” In fact, about 52 minutes into “Pandorum,” there’s a scene that’s a complete lift from “Descent.” Geez.

That said, the performance by lead actor Ben Foster is amazing. He is just terrific, and he kept me watching.

The explanation for the existance of the monsters is pretty good. I mean, at least it had a TINY bit of scientific credibility. (Years later, I’m still mad about “Event Horizon” and its explanation: “We went through a dimension off pure EEEEVIIIIIL!”)

There was a nice twist at the end, which I didn’t see coming. However, this movie really is bloated. If you’re gonna watch it, keep the remote and the FF button close at hand.

Dennis Quaid is still rilly cute. Just sayin.

P.S. My fond nickname for the Ash character in “Evil Dead 2” is “Captain Head Injury,” for obvious reasons. My nickname for Ben Foster’s character in “Pandorum” is “Splat.” I have NEVER seen anybody fall off of, out of, and onto as much stuff as this guy does. Not even Captain Kirk in the original TV series. Guy must have a Wolverine skeleton.

-Rated R
-3 out of 5 stars
-Probably OK for teens who are already horror fans. But they might fall asleep.

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